Getting To The Heart of Anger

Posted: June 22, 2012 by conand17 in Biblical/Pastoral Counselling, Discipleship, Leadership/Ministry Training, Random Stuff
Tags: , , , , ,

By Andy Constable

Anger is a problem with which everyone struggles. For some it is such a problem that it is destroying their lives. As Christians we are called to be self-controlled people who sew peace in our lives. But not all anger in the Bible is bad. Anger is a characteristic of God. Jesus was righteously angry in His ministry on earth. There is, therefore, good anger and bad anger. The question is are we channelling our anger in the right way?

Good anger’ is an emotional response to things like sin and injustice. It is a slow, self-controlled anger and is motivated by love. This kind of anger does not control us. ‘Bad anger’ is the opposite. It is explosive, irrational and, ultimately, destructive. So, what causes this bad anger in us? James 4:1-2 gives us some answers:

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and you do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.”

The key is that our passions (or desires) are at war within us. The root of our anger is desires that spring from idolatrous hearts. When these desires are threatened we often react with anger. We all have things that we love more than God in our lives – these are called idols and the problem is that they can rule our hearts. Then, when these idols are poked and challenged by people we often react with anger.

When we get angry, it is important, therefore, to be looking below the surface and into the heart of the issue. We live in a culture that likes to blame outside circumstances for our reactions. We say things like “he made me react like this.” But the Bible says that our reactions to life’s situations simply reveals what we really love most in life. They reveal something sinful about us. So how do we begin to address our heart issues?

I always say to people that our ‘bad anger’ will never be totally eradicated in this life because we have layer upon layer of idols. But, what we can work on, by the power of the Holy Spirit, is how we process anger and repent of it. Some questions to ask yourself are: 

When do you get angry? How do you get angry? Why do you become angry? 

Take a situation when you last got really mad and process it. Break down the situation and work through those questions. Then when you get mad again, repeat. Try to identify what your real heart issue is.

The key to all of this, of course, is repentance. We need to repent of the things that we love more than God. Then we need to run back into His merciful arms. It is only His grace, given through the gospel, that can truly transform our hearts. Only the gospel can challenge our hearts and teach us to love righteousness at the same time. This is key in our battle against ‘bad anger’.

The problem that most people have is that they don’t (or don’t want to) get to the heart of their issues. As James teaches, we get angry because “we desire and do not have.” But, these desires must be challenged and rooted out by the grace of God if we are to channel our anger towards sin and injustice. Sometimes I look at my own anger and wonder why I can’t get as passionate about my sin as I do about losing control or comfort. The problem, again, is my idolatrous heart and the things that I love more than God.

Allow the Holy Spirit to challenge the heart, repent and we will sew peace and self-control instead of unrighteous anger.

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Comments
  1. tim barringer says:

    Hey Andrew,

    We met in Hong Kong a few years back!

    I think you are right when you say we have to look at the root of our anger. That what matters is what is happening under the surface. Though perhaps best we ask the Holy Spirit to reveal.

    There will always be reasons and triggers that make us angry, perhaps even full of rage. These may be from childhood wounding or even things passed down through the generations, possibly sinful attitudes. We must ask the Holy Spirit to reveal these things so that Jesus can bring healing.

    However, I still can’t find in scripture anything to suggest anger is ever wrong. It is a feeling. When feelings come – we can’t do much about it. What we do with them is what matters. Hence in Ephesians we are told not to sin in our anger – and not to let the sun go down on our anger in case the devil gets a foothold. The anger is not the sin, it is what we do with it; not harming others, ourselves or property. I think this is what you mean by bad anger. We just need to be careful we don’t confuse the two. If we try to suppress the anger because we deem it ‘bad’ it can actually be just as harmful to us, eventually leading to depression.

    We may have an reaction to something that triggers anger and rage. We need to admit it and find a way to calm down and outlet like exercise or prayer and then deal with the problem. If it is an overreaction then we need to ask the Holy Spirit where this began in our lives and ask him to reveal and heal the root cause.

    Those are my thoughts any way 🙂

    tim

  2. Hi Tim, I remember you taking us for breakfast in Hong Kong…i hope you are well…

    I agree that the Holy Spirit reveals sinful attitudes to us. He is the one who convicts us of sin and helps us turn away from them.

    In regards to bad anger not mentioned in the scriptures, I would have to disagree. Jesus himself says these words in Matthew 5:22: “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment.” This is a direct warrant against unrighteous anger. I agree that we shouldn’t suppress that anger but the anger is a sin. It is an emotion that is stirred up from rebellious hearts. Its something that need to be repented of and transformed by the Holy Spirit. No we shouldn’t suppress it (although the Bible talks a lot about self-control) but we need to think deeply about where our anger is directed and why we get angry.

    Also the root cause of our anger does not always stem from just our childhood. It is deeper then that. We are born sinners with hearts that rebel against God. John Calvin called our hearts ‘idol factories’. So you can work through your childhood trauma but there will still be evil desires in you that need to be constantly addressed. Remember its not simply your environment that makes you angry but when the idols of our hearts are taken away, thwarted, or pressed upon (James 4:1-2). If we are to sew peace then we need battle to submit our idolatrous hearts before Christ. We need to turn from these desires to God and allow him to change them.

    let me know what you think,
    Andy

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